stringertheory: (Teal'c)
[personal profile] stringertheory
Title: Lesser of Two Evils
Rating: PG
Fandom: Stargate SG-1
Characters: Cameron Mitchell, Teal'c, Vala Mal Doran, Samantha Carter, Daniel Jackson
Word Count: 1407
Categories: humor
Spoilers/Warnings: None.
Summary: Another prompt-fic, this one from the lovely and talented[personal profile] lolmac "Teal'c vs. the Star Wars sequels."

Cold air and a flurry of snow followed Cam and Vala through Sam's front door. Cam quickly pushed the door shut behind him, shaking the snow still clinging to him off on the doormat. Vala had already shed her coat and was calling out to the others.

“We're here!” she practically sang.

Daniel's head appeared at the end of the hallway. “About time,” he said. “What took so long?”

“Vala couldn't make up her mind what movie she wanted to rent,” Cam said as he carefully hung up his jacket, doing the same with the one Vala had tossed on the bench under the coat rack.

“There were so many choices!” Vala exclaimed. She peeled off her gloves and tossed them behind her, where Cam caught them mid-air. “And I didn't really know what any of them were, so of course I had to read the back of each case to get a synopsis.”

“Of course you did,” Daniel replied.

Cam shooed Vala ahead of him down the hall. “Finally I just told her to get whatever she had in her hand at the moment.”

“He dragged me to the register and forced me to rent what I was holding,” Vala pouted. She held up the lone DVD they had managed to acquire and batted her eyelashes.

Daniel gave her a bland look and pointedly glanced at his watch. With a smug grin, Cam snagged the case from Vala's hands and pushed into the living room, where Teal'c and Sam were watching from the sofa. He waggled the movie in Teal'c's direction.

“Which just so happened to be Star Wars,” he announced.

Sam and Daniel shared amused looks as Cam navigated around the living room furniture to where Teal'c was seated. Teal'c smiled and took the proffered DVD with a gracious nod. The smile faded once he looked at the case, though, and Cam frowned in concern, craning his neck to get a better look at it himself.

“It is Star Wars, isn't it?” he asked. “Vala didn't pick up some crappy parody or something?”

Teal'c's jaw was tight and he glowered at the DVD in his hand as if it had just insulted his honor. Sam sat up straighter on the sofa and, catching a glimpse of the cover, cringed faintly.

“Ah, it's Star Wars, but not the right one,” she said.

Daniel immediately turned to glare at Vala. “You didn't get a prequel, did you?”

“How in the world should I know?” Vala said defensively.

“Fair point,” Daniel conceded.

“Besides, Mr. Pushy over there barely gave me the opportunity to look at the pictures on the front, much less to see what it was about.”

“I know for a fact that you spent at least ten minutes looking at that particular movie,” Cam replied. “I timed you before deciding to finally drag you out of the store.”

Sam graced them all with a very arched look before placing a gentle hand on Teal'c's arm. “We don't have to watch it,” she told him.

Vala let out a sound of dismay that she cut short when she received a cutting glance from Sam and a simultaneous elbow in the ribs from Daniel. She stepped away from the latter, rubbing her ribs as she glared at him. Cam glanced back at Teal'c, whose expression had shifted from irritation to resignation. Cam mused that had he needed to, he probably would have labeled the expression as “long-suffering.”

“If Vala Mal Doran wishes to watch this... movie,” Teal'c replied, his tone, though subtle, clearly indicating his disdain, “we can.”

Vala clapped in delight and bounded around the sofa to take the DVD from Teal'c. Cam was halfway through an impressive sigh when she stopped and glanced back at Teal'c from her place in front of the DVD player.

“You really don't mind?” she asked.

Cam was surprised by the sincerity in her voice, and a quick look in Daniel's direction indicated he was as well. Teal'c seemed to contemplate her question for a moment before he bowed his head solemnly. Vala grinned and put in the DVD.

As Vala expertly navigated her way through the menu, Cam claimed one of the armchairs. Daniel did the same across the room, tossing a pillow to Vala as she joined Sam and Teal'c on the sofa.

Aside from the palpable sense of tension that radiated from him, Teal'c managed to get through a large portion of the movie without any trouble. Cam kept a surreptitious eye on him just the same, ready to step in if need be, though completely in the dark about what exactly it was that might set Teal'c off. Given the minimal effect the film seemed to be having on their resident Jaffa, Cam eventually let himself relax. As such, he was caught off guard when Teal'c suddenly stood and, without a word, headed out the back door and into the yard.

Teal'c's exit had caught everyone's attention, and Cam met their eyes, finding concern and surprise there in equal measure. Setting down his drink, he raised a hand.

“I'll go,” he said, and hefted himself out of his chair.

The wind had thankfully died down since he and Vala had arrived, but the air was still chilly against the few bits of his skin that were exposed. Cam huddled into his sweater, hands deep in his pockets as he headed across the yard. Teal was standing a few meters from the back door, hands at his side, chin raised as he stared into the distance. Shivering a little, Cam came to stand beside him.

They stood in silence for a few minutes, the snow falling softly around them, clinging to Cam's hair and dusting Teal'c's broad shoulders. Cam brushed shapes in the snow at his feet with his shoes.

“You okay?” he asked after a while.

Teal'c didn't answer at first. Cam waited patiently, trying to ignore the numbness that was creeping into his extremities. He was about to head back inside when Teal'c spoke.


There was a hint of disgust in the word, but mostly Teal'c sounded tired. Cam turned to face him fully, studying his profile as Teal'c continued to stare into the trees.

“We really don't have to watch it, you know,” Cam finally said. “I'll tell Vala to turn it off.” He pondered for a moment and, giving in to curiosity, asked the question on his mind. “What is it about those movies? I mean, you love the originals. What's so different about the prequels?”

Teal'c gave the smallest of sighs and shifted his stance, clasping his hands behind his back.

“What are the original films about?” he quietly asked.

Cam shrugged, feeling a little like a kid again, being questioned by a teacher who already knew all the answers. “Destiny? Space battles? Good versus evil? It kind of depends on who you ask.”

“They were about the fight against an evil empire and its eventual defeat.”

Cam nodded. “Yeah, okay. And the sequels--”

“Were about the creation of that empire.”


Cam stared at Teal'c in sudden understanding. A muscle jumped in Teal'c's jaw, and he breathed in slowly and deeply through his nose. Teal'c glanced at Cam from the corner of his eye.

“Also, the love story was most ridiculous.”

Cam felt a grin spreading across his face, and could tell that the corner of Teal'c's mouth had twitched in amusement.

“You've got that right.”

The sound of a door opening came from behind them, and Cam turned to see Vala watching them from the doorway. There was concern and guilt in her gaze, so Cam let her see his smile. She smiled back in return.

“Sam's making hot cocoa,” she called, “and from the way Daniel is praising it, you'd better get in here quick if you want any before he gets started on it.”

Cam headed toward her, Teal'c falling into step beside him. Cam glanced his way, feeling mischievous.

“Maybe Sam has Blues Brothers in her collection,” he said nonchalantly, as if thinking out loud.

Vala gave him a strange look, but Teal'c merely raised an eyebrow. Cam grinned at him and ducked back inside.

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